The arrival fallacy
2 days ago
- The arrival fallacy is the belief that achieving a future goal will bring lasting fulfillment, but in reality satisfaction is fleeting and new goals quickly replace old ones.
- Jim Coudal's quote explains that goals are often set for the person we are now, not for the person we will become when we reach them.
- The author struggles with shifting goalposts caused by changing circumstances, such as family size or business scale, leading to a feeling of never having accomplished enough.
- Jason Fried from Basecamp advocates for having no goals, but the author finds that approach also leads to a loss of purpose and feeling adrift.
- Goals provide purpose, urgency, and progress but also bring pressure, stress, and guilt upon arrival, while lacking goals brings calm but also inadequacy.
- The author's self-worth is deeply tied to achieving goals, but validation from goals fades quickly, leading to an unsustainable cycle of moving the goalpost.
- The author seeks a middle ground between having goals and having none—an equilibrium that allows ambition without being consumed by it.