Fuck, You're Still Sad?
9 hours ago
- #loss
- #grief
- #mental health
- The author describes her ongoing disbelief and grief a year after her husband Jake's death, including moments where she still expects him to be present.
- She critiques the American Psychiatric Association's definition of 'disordered grief,' which requires symptoms persisting for at least a year, questioning the arbitrary timeline for grief.
- The author reflects on how her brain's prediction errors—expecting Jake to be present—require repetition to dismantle, likening grief to a 'terrible kind of learning.'
- She discusses the physical and emotional changes grief has caused, comparing it to an amputation, and rejects the notion that her grief is a disorder.
- The author highlights society's discomfort with grief and death, noting how people seek reassurance that such tragedies won't happen to them.
- She contrasts modern avoidance of death with historical practices like Victorian mourning dress and public Greek funerals, lamenting the privatization of grief.
- The author shares her struggle with public and private grief, including moments of intense sorrow and anger, and the pressure to 'move on.'
- She rejects the idea of 'ordered grief,' emphasizing its nonlinear nature and how her love for Jake persists despite his death.
- The author concludes that grief is not an illness but a natural response to loss, and she refuses to wait to be 'cured' to return to life.
- A response from another widow offers solidarity, sharing her own experiences and affirming that grief never fully disappears but life grows around it.