The seam through the center of things
3 days ago
- #recovery
- #addiction
- #spirituality
- The author reflects on emotional responses after completing a book manuscript, linking it to personal healing.
- Shares a deeply personal journey of addiction to nitrous oxide from 2017 to 2020, which severely impacted their life.
- Describes a transformative spiritual experience during drug use that led to a belief in God, contrary to previous atheistic views.
- Explains the struggle to reconcile the spiritual revelation with rationality, leading to obsessive documentation and attempts to prove God's existence.
- Details the physical, mental, and social toll of addiction, including memory loss, financial ruin, and damaged relationships.
- Discusses the difficulty of accepting that the spiritual quest and addiction had no grand resolution or divine payoff.
- Mentions the book as a form of recovery and a way to transform past devastation into something meaningful.
- Expresses gratitude for life's simple pleasures post-addiction, symbolizing a return to normalcy and closure.