5 hours ago
- The text declares a national imperative to build an opulent, gold-encrusted ballroom, claiming the current event spaces are inadequate and embarrassing.
- It acknowledges that $4.2 billion could fund healthcare, infrastructure, and arts programmes, but dismisses these needs as less important than chandeliers and gold leaf.
- Various officials are quoted demanding absurdly luxurious specifications, such as 300 meters of hand-embroidered drapes and 2,400 lbs of 24-karat gold leaf.
- The manifesto satirically responds to potential objections, arguing that a ballroom is essential for national dignity and that waltzing cannot be done in hospitals.
- It ends with a call to action—sign a petition—and notes the entire piece is produced without any actual ballroom or budget, highlighting its satirical nature.