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Two Kinds of Judgement
a day ago
- There are two types of judgment: one where judging you accurately is the goal (e.g., court cases, grades), and another where judgment is a means to an end (e.g., college admissions, hiring).
- In the second type, selectors focus on building a good overall set rather than perfectly evaluating each individual, so misjudgments are common and not necessarily unfair.
- Viewing judges as customers rather than authorities reduces expectations of fairness, similar to accepting that readers may prefer a potboiler over a good novel.
- Realizing most judgments are not about you personally can boost confidence and reduce the sting of rejection.
- Less personal reaction to rejection can improve outcomes by encouraging proactive self-promotion, especially in contexts like college applications.
You're Not in a Funk: You are not stuck. You are pointed the wrong direction
13 days ago
- The concept of feeling stuck is often a sign of being in the wrong direction or mode, not a 'funk'.
- There are two primary life modes: Expansion (engaging with the world, meeting people, collecting inputs) and Introspection (pulling inward, processing deeply, focusing on a few key ideas or people).
- Modes are not fixed identities like introversion or extroversion; they are situational positions that everyone alternates between.
- You cannot effectively run both modes simultaneously; they compete for the same mental and emotional resources.
- Life's productive stretches resemble terrain: expansion is the climb, introspection is the descent, with corners as transitions between them.
- The slopes (climb or descent) are straightforward and linear, while corners require skill and judgment to navigate.
- Missing a corner leads to a 'funk'—staleness from refusing to turn when the road changes direction.
- Each cycle has two corners: the top of the climb (transition to introspection) and the bottom of the descent (transition to expansion).
- Your weak corner is typically the one that turns you away from your perceived identity (e.g., an extrovert struggles to turn inward).
- Signs a corner is coming include: for the top of a climb, feeling drained after social interactions and collecting unprocessed inputs; for the bottom of a descent, restlessness, predictable thoughts, and comfort turning into laziness.
- Distraction-seeking is a common alarm at both corners, signaling it's time to check the road ahead.
- Use 'levers'—specific activities that helped you get unstuck in the past—to navigate corners intentionally, adjusting them to point inward or outward as needed.
- Levers often work both ways; small changes can redirect their effect (e.g., a solo trip vs. a business trip).
- Pulling a lever early at the corner maximizes its torque, while delaying requires a rescue operation with higher cost.
- With practice, you can shorten transition times from months to days, feeling the road bend before it happens.
- Avoid turning too early; the skill lies in sensing the turn and timing it correctly to maintain momentum.
- Navigating corners well compounds over time, leading to growth where each phase builds on the last, creating an upward spiral or 'helix'.
- Corners determine the momentum carried between phases; mastering them allows expansion and introspection to become more effective and aligned.
- A practical framework: know your current slope, watch for corner tells, maintain a lever list for both directions, and act early at corners.
- Start by reflecting on past instances of getting unstuck to identify personal levers, which can be applied in short timeframes.
Test How hard to love you?
15 days ago
- The Hard to Love Test measures likeability upon first meeting and difficulty of getting close afterward, through 24 everyday scenarios.
- It provides two scores: a Likeability Index and an Approach Difficulty, identifying one of four quadrants and six personality types.
- The four quadrants are Instantly Likeable, High Demand High Walls, Slow Burn, and Closed Island, based on scores.
- Six types describe mechanisms of closeness difficulty: Fortress, Ghost, Critic, Firestorm, Tester, and Lone Wolf.
- The test is for entertainment and self-reflection, not clinical assessment, focusing on resistance patterns in forming connections.
- Results include three recognizable behaviors and a practical suggestion for opening up slightly, emphasizing old protective habits.
- Accuracy relies on honest answers in relatable situations, with common reactions varying by quadrant outcome.
- It's free, takes about 3 minutes, requires no sign-up, and quietness does not negatively impact scores if warmth is present.

Hasty Briefsbeta

self-awareness

Two Kinds of Judgement

You're Not in a Funk: You are not stuck. You are pointed the wrong direction

Test How hard to love you?