2 days ago
- Most people overestimate their own awkwardness and underestimate how well conversations go; studies show people generally like others more than they think they are liked.
- Awkwardness has three layers: social clumsiness (outer), excessive self-awareness (middle), and people-phobia (inner), each requiring a different approach.
- For social clumsiness, the key is to own mistakes openly rather than trying to cover them up, which often makes things worse and can actually appear confident.
- Excessive self-awareness can be mitigated by shifting attention outward to others, treating them as fascinating and engaging, which reduces self-focus and improves interactions.
- People-phobia, or fear of rejection, can be addressed through exposure therapy: facing social situations, noting that most interactions are pleasant, and reflecting on positive outcomes to update expectations.
- A practical step is to avoid passing on awkwardness to others through cruelty, as this increases the overall level of social discomfort.