What I've learned from frank conversation with parents

2 days ago

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The author engaged in frank conversations with parents to decide on having children, leading to less certainty about the decision.
Parental regret and ambivalence are more common than acknowledged, often linked to the structure of modern American parenting.
Modern American parenting is described as challenging due to high expectations, lack of social and state support, and poor schooling options.
Parents with non-mainstream parenting experiences (financial abundance, flexible work, social support) reported higher satisfaction.
Parental satisfaction is complex, often described as both fulfilling and crushing, contradicting the 'joy every day' narrative.
Some view parenting as a duty rather than a source of personal happiness, influenced by religious or prosocial beliefs.
The author found no clear assurance on whether having children leads to a better life, highlighting the ambiguity of the decision.
Personal anecdotes from the author's mother and others show varied experiences, from deep satisfaction to regret.
The decision to have children is deeply personal, with no universal answer, and requires careful consideration of one's desires and circumstances.

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