Good conversations have lots of doorknobs (2022)
5 days ago
- #social-interaction
- #psychology
- #conversation-dynamics
- The article discusses the dynamics of conversations, comparing 'givers' and 'takers' in social interactions.
- Givers view conversations as a series of invitations, while takers see them as declarations. Mismatches can lead to resentment or annoyance.
- Takers can keep conversations moving, especially in group settings, by making bold statements or claims that invite responses.
- Givers may inadvertently burden others by not taking the spotlight, turning conversations into laborious exchanges.
- The key to good conversations is creating 'affordances' or 'doorknobs'—features that invite engagement, like digressions, confessions, or bold claims.
- Fast responses in conversations can enhance rapport, as they show active engagement and quick thinking.
- Psychological biases, like egocentrism, can hinder the creation of conversational affordances, leading to less engaging interactions.
- Self-disclosure and finding common ground can help jump-start deeper, more meaningful conversations.
- The article concludes by emphasizing the importance of offering and recognizing conversational affordances to keep dialogues lively and engaging.