A bear eats a software engineer (satire)
3 hours ago
- #workplace safety
- #data security
- #corporate satire
- Dan, a software engineer, was killed by a bear while camping, resulting in data loss as he couldn't push his latest work.
- The company's response focuses on operational and security concerns rather than human loss, including declaring a 'fire' incident, discussing data recovery from Dan's brain and laptop, and developing bear-related policies.
- Cybersecurity proposes extreme measures like snipers and honey-coated hair to protect intellectual property from bear attacks.
- People Resources resists bear safety training due to legal risks, arguing it could imply liability or create hostile work environment claims.
- A new bear encounter SOP leads to another employee's death during an office party when he follows protocol to assess a bear, highlighting absurd corporate priorities.