self-improvement

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How to be less awkward
2 months ago
- Most people overestimate their own awkwardness and underestimate how well conversations go; studies show people generally like others more than they think they are liked.
- Awkwardness has three layers: social clumsiness (outer), excessive self-awareness (middle), and people-phobia (inner), each requiring a different approach.
- For social clumsiness, the key is to own mistakes openly rather than trying to cover them up, which often makes things worse and can actually appear confident.
- Excessive self-awareness can be mitigated by shifting attention outward to others, treating them as fascinating and engaging, which reduces self-focus and improves interactions.
- People-phobia, or fear of rejection, can be addressed through exposure therapy: facing social situations, noting that most interactions are pleasant, and reflecting on positive outcomes to update expectations.
- A practical step is to avoid passing on awkwardness to others through cruelty, as this increases the overall level of social discomfort.
i'm just having fun
2 months ago
- The author finds it uncomfortable when people view them as exceptionally smart due to their work on compilers and build systems.
- Learning computing skills comes from experimentation and hard work, not innate magic; others can learn too.
- Everyone has their own specialization, and not knowing computer internals doesn't make someone dumb.
- The mystique around computing and STEM is undeserved; other fields like art or carpentry also require learning from mistakes.
- The author learns computers for fun and art, not for money, and values the 'fucking around' process.
- Advice includes building personal tools for enjoyment, exploring others' projects for deeper understanding, and using resources like MDN, Arch Wiki, or StackOverflow.
What You'll Wish You'd Known
2 months ago
- You don't need to have your life figured out in high school; focus on learning your options and discovering what you like.
- Don't let the college admissions process define your life; treat school as a day job and pursue real work driven by curiosity.
- Work on hard problems that interest you, stay open to new possibilities, and let your curiosity guide you rather than following fixed plans.
Writing, Briefly
2 months ago
- Writing generates ideas, not just communicates them; poor writing skills cause missed ideas.
- Write a fast first draft, then rewrite repeatedly, cutting unnecessary parts.
- Use conversational tone, imitate good writers, and read aloud to find awkward or boring parts.
- Expect 80% of ideas to emerge during writing and 50% of initial ideas to be wrong.
- Get feedback from trusted friends, cut confidently, and avoid detailed outlines.
- Write on topics you like, don't try to impress, and publish online to generate more ideas.
You can try to like stuff
2 months ago
- The hobby of trying to like things is a tool for probing human nature, not just for enjoyment.
- Disliking something often stems from a self-concept of not liking it, as seen with spinach, white wine, and other examples.
- We can successfully change our likes by reframing our perspective, but deep cultural programming can make some changes hard.
- Having an incorrect concept of self can lead to believing we like things we actually don't, like raisins or Oasis.
- Some things are difficult to change, such as snobbery toward TV or an inability to enjoy country music.
- The invitation to 'enjoy the ride' on flights illustrates the power we have over how we experience situations.
Read More. Read Often. Read Every Day
2 months ago
- Read daily, prioritize reading over productivity hacks for better focus and concentration.
- Reading improves vocabulary by 80%, reduces risk of early death by 20%, and lowers Alzheimer's risk by 2.5 times.
- Books provide access to human knowledge, helping solve problems and shape life paths.
- Spend majority of reading time on books, but other publications are fine; even 'trash' reading is better than watching.
- Reading is more valuable than podcasts or fast content consumption; it retains attention and respects information.
- Reading develops empathy, writing skills, critical thinking, relaxation, and productivity.
- Make time to read regularly—visit libraries, buy books, and carve out dedicated reading time.
What is agency – and how can you get more of it?
2 months ago
- Agency is defined as the capacity to see and act on degrees of freedom that others overlook, combining observational ability with courage.
- Agency is a learnable skill, not an innate trait, and can be developed through practices like explicit communication and embracing failure.
- Addiction is described as the opposite of agency, stripping away degrees of freedom and leading to compulsive behavior.
- Explicit communication, even about uncomfortable dynamics, can improve relationships and avoid resentment accumulation.
- AI and technology may enhance agency for some but risk reducing it for others by eliminating beneficial friction and promoting addictive patterns.
- Practical tips for increasing agency include using anonymous feedback boxes, acting your way into new thinking, and avoiding over-identification with fixed identities.
The Gospel of Gains: How Fitness Culture Went Mainstream
2 months ago
- Pre-2000s, fitness-minded people were a minority with limited monetization options like personal training, security, or acting.
- Social media in the mid-2000s began breaking the barrier between fitness culture and mainstream.
- COVID lockdowns gave the fitness influencer industry a second wind, eroding public trust in experts and increasing online content consumption.
- Post-2022, fitness culture became inescapable, with widespread public interest in weight loss, obesity, and related topics.
- Two main content types (bodybuilding/powerlifting vs. cardio/nutrition) thrive despite apparent differences, sharing a valuation of peak performance.
- The current fitness craze resembles organized religion: routine, moralism, perpetual improvement, and echo-chamber advice.
- Downsides include never feeling good enough, comparison to genetic outliers, and distorted perception of reality via social media.
Can You Just Do Things?
2 months ago
- Agency is defined as the capacity to notice and act on the degrees of freedom life offers, requiring both awareness and action.
- Agency can be cultivated through three main pathways: psychedelic experiences, desperation (e.g., addiction recovery), and exposure to high-agency people.
- There is a key distinction between agency (personal freedom) and ambition (external achievement); toxic agency often correlates with dark triad traits and transactional worldviews.
- The book 'You Can Just Do Things' aims to provide a deliberate, accessible method for cultivating agency, as an alternative to luck or extreme circumstances.
- Romantic partnerships can enhance agency by enabling mutual support, allowing each partner to take risks and explore freedom.
- The phrase 'you can just do things' has mixed connotations—it can be empowering but also used to justify antisocial behavior, and the Bay Area's high-agency culture is prone to groupthink.
Self-testing AI harness finds its own bugs
2 months ago
- Every morning at 9 AM, Omnideck stress-tests its browser tools on 50 real websites across categories like e-commerce and news.
- When tools fail, Omnideck uses diagnostic tools to identify root causes, such as DOM issues or race conditions, and validates them against its own source code.
- Over a week, this routine found 14 bugs across 35 sites, with examples including content selection logic and modal handling errors.
- Bugs are filed as GitHub issues with proposed fixes, creating a self-improvement loop that enhances tool reliability for future tasks.
- The process leverages existing capabilities like browser tools and code analysis to systematically reduce web chaos and improve performance.
Maybe you should learn something
3 months ago
- Learning new skills like pixel art, typing, music, etc., is practical and enriches life in unexpected ways.
- It requires consistent time, ideally 30-45 minutes daily, but is manageable if you reduce screen time.
- Numerous free resources exist online; start simply to avoid information overload and pace yourself.
- Initial practice can be frustrating and tiring, but improvements come after sleep and repeated sessions.
- Expect plateaus after basic proficiency; use skills practically to continue progress without grinding.
- Focus on fundamentals, avoid advanced topics prematurely, and stop practice when making many mistakes.
- Learning is a long-term project that fosters a sense of control and meaningful change over time.
Most arguments are about ego, not ideas
3 months ago
- The author, a software engineer, stopped arguing because winning arguments often led to personal alienation rather than persuasion.
- Correctness is not always beneficial; it creates a dynamic of right versus wrong, producing a loser and damaging relationships.
- Arguments are often ego-driven rather than about ideas, making rational debate futile and turning disagreements into personal fights.
- Humans are primarily emotional beings who rationalize feelings, not logical creatures, so logical arguments are often ineffective.
- Correcting others rarely helps; people learn from consequences, not advice, and unsolicited correction is usually perceived as criticism.
- Help should only be offered when explicitly requested, as it creates an opening for advice to be received without ego barriers.
- Instead of arguing, profit from differences by building on unique perspectives, treating disagreement as an opportunity or competitive edge.
- The only person one can change is oneself; focusing on self-improvement shifts one's experience of the world and brings peace.
- Self-improvement comes from seeking feedback and listening humbly, as ego prevents learning and growth.

self-improvement

How to be less awkward

i'm just having fun

What You'll Wish You'd Known

Writing, Briefly

You can try to like stuff

Read More. Read Often. Read Every Day

What is agency – and how can you get more of it?

The Gospel of Gains: How Fitness Culture Went Mainstream

Can You Just Do Things?

Self-testing AI harness finds its own bugs

Maybe you should learn something

Most arguments are about ego, not ideas